Thursday’s morning my Grandfather, Bobby Proctor, passed away. I had gotten up early that morning because I was supposed to go stay with him that day. When I heard a knock on the door, I panicked thinking I had overslept. I wish it that was what my Mom had to say… The very last thing I expected to hear was he had passed.

I knew Papa Bob was close to death, I just didn’t expect it so soon. I thought I had myself mentally prepared for that day…but I was wrong. Part of me was praying and believing deeply for a miracle; I wanted my Grandpa saved, healed and to, finally, be able to have a good life in Christ, but I also prayed for what was best for him. We don’t always understand why things happen the way they do, but we have peace knowing one day we will.

“For we know in part and we prophesy in part. But when that which is perfect has come, then that which is in part will be done away.” 1 Corinthians 13:9-10.

One day we will understand it all and what a wonderful thing we have to look forward to.

When my Great Grandmother passed, I had the hope of knowing she was in Heaven with her family who had passed on before her. I knew I would see her again, I knew she was pain free and happy… That hope was one thing that kept me going, I knew I would see her again someday, but what about the people we aren’t sure about? How do we cope with their deaths? How do we handle the uncertain and even guilt that follows?

I’ll be honest, I don’t know if my Grandpa is in Heaven or not. I pray with all my heart that he finally called upon the Name Of The Lord before he passed on. One thing I do know, God is merciful and He is gracious. My Grandfather had many close calls and could have died then, but my God kept him alive and gave him so many chances. As long is there is breath in our bodies, there is a chance to be saved, all we have to do is call upon Him.

“For ‘whoever calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved.’” Romans 10:13.

Death isn’t easy, but, sadly, it is a part of life and I know it is difficult to cope. Loosing someone you love and care about is never simple and the pain never quite seems to go away, but don’t let the grief overwhelm you. I am an emotional person and that’s okay because God created me that way. I cried a lot the day of his passing—in fact, I am crying as I write this—and that’s okay. Take time, mourn, celebrate the good—even if it seems so small and insignificant—think on those precious memories and thank God for the time you had with your loved one(s). Don’t try to bury the pain, let the Lord help you handle it.

My Dad and I were talking the day of my Grandfather’s passing. I thank God for the days I was able to spend with him. The biggest blessing was being able to help him and he actually enjoyed me being there. I have some very special memories that I will always cherish. It was so hard seeing him slowly decline, but those moments where we talked and even laughed are worth their weighed in gold. I know thinking back also brings pain, but remember the good and always be thankful for the time you had. Think on the good things!

“Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy–meditate on these things.” Philippians 4:8.

When I heard of his passing, I had regrets; I wondered if I done enough, if I said enough, if I had prayed enough… I can’t change anything now, but I did what I felt like the Lord wanted me to do and I know that was enough. If you feel lead to do or say something, do it. Don’t let one chance pass by because you never know if that might be the last opportunity you will have. Every second in our lives are precious and a gift from God so be sure to use it wisely. As I grow older, I see more and more how important time is. Little talks and smiles may seem unimportant or inconvenient, but take the time to give people precious memories. Show people you care about them, make each moment count… Live without regrets.

As children of the King, we are here for one another. Talk to the Lord about any worries or cares, but also reach out to those around you. I know I would rather deal with issues by myself, but it is easiest to attack a sheep when they are by themselves… There are strengths in numbers so don’t feel like you are weak for asking for help and remember the Lord is always with you.

I cope by writing and I thought I would share this piece with you. I pray that God gives you peace in this troubling time. Know that you are His wonderful work and He has beautiful plans for you. Know that you are precious, so precious that He died for you. Never forget that.

My prayers are with you,

K.N. Proctor.